FullMoon
by Tarja Holopainen
Summary: "But what if she really didn't care? Maybe it was worth a try. Remus shook his head and decided to talk to her. But when he opened the door of his room, she was already waiting for him." Just a quick Remus/Tonks one shot. [Every right goes to JK Rowling and her brilliant characters!]


Run away, run away, run away ... FullMoon is on the sky and he's not a man anymore.

[Tony Kakko (Sonata Arctica), FullMoon]

* * *

He was tracing the cloud with his eyes, tracing the cloud that slowly moved away from the cursed thing that would change him again. He could feel his insides starting to burn as the cloud had moved away, his pupils widened as the round, yellow ball came to sight and he stumbled back.

He hit the wall with a crash, but the pain on his back was nothing compared to the pain which erupted in his muscles.

They tensed and threatened to suffocate him while they grew, his bones got bigger, it felt as if they were breaking.

In real they were growing, transforming, his skin stretched and his face got blurred.

He groaned, after all those years it still hurt too much. Sweating and panting he fell to the floor, her name on his lips.

It always had been her, for months already. And still he didn't know why he had given into his feelings, why he just couldn't forget the fact why they couldn't be a couple.

She didn't care, why did he?

The transformation was over now and the wolf rolled himself together on the floor.

Nymphadora Tonks laid on her bed, eyes wide open. She never slept when there was a full moon, her thoughts only were with this stupid, stubborn man she loved from the bottom of her heart.

A man who didn't love her back, well, at least not willingly.

"I'll tell you a secret", Sirius had once said and pulled his cousin aside.

"Oh, a secret?" The blue eyes of the pink haired woman had lit up and she had started jumping. "Yes, Sirius? Tell me! Tell me!"

Sirius had pulled her away from the others. "If Molly hears that I told you, I'm dead", he muttered. "And if Remus hears me - gosh, that'd be even worse."

Tonks' eyebrows narrowed. "It's about ... It's about Remus?", she said softly.

This man.

Somehow he had managed to get under her skin like no one else ever had managed to get under her skin. She looked at him and could swear he had put a spell on her or given her a love potion.

Her heart both swelled and clenched, it both raced and stopped, sending stings into her stomach and chills down her spine.

Her stomach threatened to turn around and she felt like blurting out the feelings she harboured for him, her brain was feeling heavy and all she could think was I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you ...

She wanted to scream it, she feared she couldn't say something else than "I love you" anyway.

That was why she was happy that he ignored her ... But on the other side it hurt like hell.

Before he had known about her feelings, they had gotten along so well. They were friends. But then Tonks had interpreted too much in this friendship, his hugs, his touches, his looks, his smiles.

And one day she had kissed him.

And Remus had reacted shocked, he had pushed her away and ran off. And since then he had been ignoring her, until Sirius had told Tonks the secret.

"He likes you."

"Wha -?!", Tonks had breathed while her hair had turned scarlet red.

"Remus!", Sirius had whispered, his eyes shining. "He likes you - oh bloddy hell, he's hopelessly in love with you!"

First Tonks had smiled lightly, but then her smile had faded. She knew her cousin, he had always just set her up to do something completely stupid.

"Don't think you have the right to can tell me something about my love life, Sirius!", she had hissed and pressed her finger against her cousin's chest. "You're not part of it."

Now Tonks' eyes got wet when she thought of Sirius.

Now she knew that he had been right, Remus was in love with her. Hopelessly probably, just as he had said.

"Oh, Sirius", Tonks whispered and closed her eyes, causing the tears to roll over her cheeks. "I wish you were here ... I wish you still could pester me with telling me about my sad love life, I wish you still could push Remus around and scream at him to finally tell me ..." Tonks giggled a little, bit then she sighed.

Laughing felt so wrong. It didn't feel honest, it felt wrong and out of place.

The young witch wrapped her arms around her pillow and sighed deeply. When had it all started? Probably when they had gotten introduced to each other ...

Tonks closed her eyes at the image of a young and innocent herself. Her hair had been bubblegum pink and her smile had been broader as it couldn't get. She had felt so adult already during her first official Order meeting, everyone respected her, everyone listened to her.

"Glad to have you back, you crazy woman", Bill had said and had hugged her. Sure, Tonks hadn't forgotten this little crush she had on him during her time at Hogwarts, but now that he hugged her, she could proudly say that this crush had come to an end.

"Pinky!", an all too familiar voice had called and Tonks' hadn't been able to believe it at first - but then she had thrown herself into Sirius' eyes.

"Oh my God, Blacky!", she had screeched. "I knew you were alright. After your flight of Azkaban, I mean! When they didn't find you I knew that Dumbledore helped you!"

"Actually Harry and Hermione did ... Well, that's a long story." Sirius had laughed and had hugged his young cousin, and after almost seventeen years they were reunited as Pinky and Blacky again.

"May I introduce you to the Order?", Sirius had asked and without waiting for an answer he had screamed, "Hey! Order! This is my cousin Pinky!"

"Pinky?", a quite tired looking man had asked and Tonks had looked at him - a wave of sympathy washing over her. He looked ill and horrendous. His coat was old and shabby and his hair was thin and about to turn gray. Only his eyes, that held a warm shade of brown, looked young and mischievous.

"Actually my name is Tonks", Tonks had stated and Sirius had shaken his head.

"Actually you name is -"

"Shut up!", Tonks had screeched, but it was too late.

"Nymphadora."

Tonks groaned. "I hate you, Sirius! Don't call me Nymphadora", she had said to the whole Order. "Please. It's horrible."

"I think it's pretty", the shabby man had complimented quietly.

That had probably been the first time Tonks had looked at him in awe. Her heart had started to beat faster, but she hadn't noticed it. She hadn't noticed her falling for him immediately, it had hit her in a night a few months after, it had hit her all of a sudden and so hard, that she had started crying.

Because she would have never thought that she would fall for a werewolf ... Fall for him madly like she had.

Tonks rolled herself together in a ball and sighed, wishing he was here with her. She knew he was taking the potion, and she also knew that he still could be dangerous anyway - but somehow she didn't care.

She imagined snuggling herself closer to a big creature, and the creature put his arm around her.

She wasn't afraid, somehow she knew he couldn't do something to her - he would protect her forever.

"Forever, Remus", she whispered and hugged her pillow. "I will love you forever and so will you."

* * *

The wolf was crying.

He didn't know why, but his heart was feeling as if it was ripping apart. He ran through his room, looking for something edible, finding a way to break out of the room, but the human had be smart enough to curse the room, so he couldn't get out in nights where the full moon was risen high.

That stupid human.

The wolf cursed the human in whose body he was imprisoned, he cursed that stupid human who always wanted to do the best. Who wanted to feel.

Who felt.

The wolf snorted. He felt. He felt love. And it felt horrible.

But the worst was - he felt love for the same creature that his human felt love to.

Yes, we love her, the human whispered to him and the wolf growled.

Shut up, human. This is my night. I can do what I want to do tonight. I don't want to think of her now!

But deep inside he knew that he had fallen for the female human, the same way that his human had fallen for her.

You wouldn't do something to her, hm?, his human asked and the wolf buried his large head in his claws.

Never.

The human didn't answer and the wolf could feel his satisfaction. It hurt, it hurt so madly.

The constant longing for her touch killed him, even though when there wasn't a full moon, he wished nothing more than feeling her slim fingers run through his human's light brown hair.

You love her too, the human stated and the wolf had no chance to deny it.

I hate you, he let him know. You've made me ... You've made me feel good things. Love.

You'll get over it, the human said dryly.

* * *

Remus awoke with a satisfied smile on his lips. Every full moon night he had tried to turn the wolf's feelings and eventually he had succeeded. The wolfbane potion had changed him as much as Remus himself had changed him, the beast inside him was slowly fading - at least towards the young witch.

Remus smiled and sat up, but his smile faded quickly.

He wasn't only dangerous ... He was old and poor as well. Way too old! He was almost forty while his love interest had just turned twenty-five a few weeks ago. He had no home, he lived at Grimmauld place 12 for months already, he had no job thanks to Dolores Umbridge and her law that made it impossible for werewolves to get a job. And besides that, if they would be a couple, Tonks would be an outsider as well. Everyone would avoid her, she could lose her job ...

But what if she really didn't care? Maybe it was worth a try. If it didn't work out, he still could break up, even though it'd break him as well. Remus shook his head and decided to talk to her. But when he opened the door of his room, she was already waiting for him.

His brown eyes grew wide. "Nymphadora", he breathed and smiled at the sight of her squinting eyes.

"Don't call me that, Remus", she said. "Are you tired of life?"

"I could ask you the same thing", Remus stated. "What are you doing here, crazy woman?"

"Well, I'd like to spend my holidays inside this beautiful house", Tonks said sarcastically and Remus sighed.

What had he done to her? She had lost her ability to metamorph - only because of him.

"Come in", he offered and Tonks walked past him, her eyes widening at what she saw.

The carped was destroyed from scratched and so was the curtain.

"I was a little angry once. I'm glad you weren't close", Remus said weakly and within a second, Tonks had wrapped her arms around him.

"You stupid man", she whispered right into his ear. "I love you, do you hear me? I told you in the hospital wing, I told you so many times before. My partronus changed because I love you, you stupid man. I want you, I only want you, do you understand?"

And Remus gave in. "And I only want you, little nymph", he said quietly. "But that doesn't change the fact I'm not good for you ..."

"I know what I'm about to deal with", Tonks said and pushed him a little away. "Now why exactly did you first invite me in, then hug me and tell me you want me and then call me little nymph? I doubt you wanted to push me away again, right?"

For a second, Remus caught a glimpse of his old Tonks and he had to smile.

"Actually I wanted to tell you that I understand you don't care about my state", he said softly. "And that you're not ashamed about your feelings for me, I could see that when you exploded in front of everyone. You know I love you too, therefore I was too much afraid of hurting you. If I do, Tonks, we have to end this."

First Tonks didn't answer, but then she nodded. "Yes", she breathed and her eyes started shining. "Does that mean -?"

Remus silenced her with a kiss, small, innocent, gentle, just as she had imagined his kisses to be.

And just as he had her kisses imagined to be, she pulled him against him, desperately trying to deepen the kiss.

Their tongues met in an explosion of their feels and Tonks couldn't help but moan. Their united hearts beat in await, love, happiness, lust.

Tonks' hands found his hair and grabbed it, his inner wolf sighed in happiness.

His human had found his love and so had he.

After a while he pulled away and cupped her face, tracing the soft outlines of her young face and the slowly turning to pink strands of her hair.

"Yes, that means I love you and I want us to be together", he whispered. "And that we'll end this as soon as I hurt you."

Tonks nodded with a serious expression in her face. She had the feeling he wouldn't hurt her, the trust she felt towards him made it impossible for her to think so.

And Sirius' promises, all those promises that he'd never hurt her also made it impossible to believe that.

* * *

No charisma for the beast, but still I love you forevermore. - Tony Kakko/Nightwish


End file.
